Allison Holker Boss, widow of Stephen “tWitch” Boss broke her silence about his demise with Hoda Kotb on “Immediately,” Wednesday.
Boss died by suicide in December on the age of 40, forsaking Allison and their three younger kids. The beloved dancer and DJ rose to fame because the disc jockey on “The Ellen DeGeneres Present,” and Allison admitted she continues to be adjusting to his absence.
“I nonetheless really feel like the remainder of the world the place I’m nonetheless shocked,” Allison informed Kotb. “Nobody’s prepared for that second and there’s nobody that noticed this coming. Nobody — and that breaks my coronary heart too.”
Holker Boss mentioned she was blindsided by his demise, and expressed feeling “so unhappy” that he was struggling in silence. “We weren’t within the understanding,” she exclaimed on the present. She admitted to experiencing many moments of self-doubt the place she requested herself if she had missed any indicators that her husband was fighting psychological well being points.
“I did it lots at first,” she mentioned. “I ultimately needed to inform myself, I can’t change something that’s occurred.”
As for what led him to take his personal life, Allison mentioned she will’t say for sure, however she did point out that tWitch took on numerous accountability in his life.
“He wished to be the sturdy one for everybody and I believe that was a bit of scary for him to suppose that he would possibly must ask for assist,” she mentioned. “He was a lot love and light-weight. He actually wished to be everybody’s Superman, and he mentioned that lots.”
Boss’ widow has needed to help her three kids whereas additionally leaning on others, together with Ellen DeGeneres, to make sure she processes by means of her personal therapeutic.
“I don’t actually have another alternative however to be sturdy,” she mentioned, including that she’s needed to have “actually laborious conversations” along with her kids. (RELATED: 911 Audio Suggests Drake Bell Could Have Been Suicidal)
“To us, Daddy’s within the stars. So we are able to go outdoors and discuss to him every time we would like … They only ask, ‘When is daddy coming again?’ and that’s a very laborious one,” she mentioned. “I received 13 years with one of the vital magical people and I realized a lot about love and gratitude.”