• My husband and I’ve an open relationship, however I by no means had one other critical companion.
• That modified after I fell in love with one other mom at my children’ kindergarten.
• The connection along with her did not work out, however my husband caught by me the entire time.

My husband and I met at college in New Zealand. He was a quiet, delicate man, and he gained my coronary heart together with his kindness and considerate demeanor. I used to be so nervous on our first date that I may barely converse. 

We launched into our relationship with out most of the common frameworks, as a result of he moved away quickly after we obtained collectively. I began courting him whereas I additionally dated a lady I had met at a celebration. I’ve at all times recognized as queer, however it was the primary time I had ever dated individuals who accepted each my sexuality and my need for nonmonogamy. 

As time glided by, he and I obtained engaged, moved in collectively, obtained married, and had youngsters. Our relationship remained nonmonogamous; we even made out with different folks on our wedding ceremony evening. The changes of elevating babies, nevertheless, radically modified our life-style and put our nonmonogamous life-style on maintain — till I fell in love with one other girl. 

Once we had children, we have been now not out partying or playing around

Most of our days revolved round diaper adjustments and playdates. I missed my former self, and I missed the methods by which I used to specific my sexuality. Motherhood was new, difficult, exhausting, and enjoyable, however it was a totally totally different world than the one I used to be used to. 

When our daughter was 2 and our son was nonetheless a child, we took a leap of religion and moved to Berlin. There, we found a really open tradition and a way of life by which having youngsters was no barrier to having time. 

It was arduous to fulfill new companions, however I started to exit within the evenings with one of many different married moms I had met at my youngsters’s kindergarten. She and I shortly turned shut buddies; each of us have been wild, adventure-seeking varieties, in search of enjoyable.

Our friendship shortly blossomed into one thing extra, and my husband supported me

At some point, I observed that my new good friend from my children’ college was watching me intently.

“You look actually match,” she mumbled. “And your eyes are so lovely.”

I laughed, not sure of what to do. On one other evening, although, we discovered ourselves dancing in a membership — pulled collectively like magnets. 

As the times wore on, it turned clear that it was extra than simply bodily chemistry. I had no concept whether or not my husband would assist me if I needed to attach along with her — not simply as a hookup, however as an precise relationship. This was a brand new step for us.

However he was measured, calm, and accepting. “Why not?” he mentioned after I requested him.

She requested her husband the identical factor. “Why not?” he replied in flip.

From there, the connection with my girlfriend grew shortly 

We frolicked swimming in lakes, biking by way of the forest, and partying till 4 a.m. Our households intertwined: My husband and her husband joined us for dinner with all of our youngsters; we shared childcare; we supported one another in instances of unhappiness; and we celebrated joys and successes collectively late into the evening.

For 2 years, we had a heartfelt connection and new experiences. It was additionally unpredictable, too intense, and finally unbalancing. My girlfriend and I have been each very emotional, and we clashed in ways in which slowly tore away at us. 

It was a enjoyable relationship, however not a wholesome one. The breakup was inevitable.

When my girlfriend and I broke up, I used to be devastated; my husband was there for me

I cried day by day for weeks. My husband patiently delivered chocolate-chip cookies and purple wine to me as I lay in mattress. He listened to my sorrow and hugged me. He took care of our kids and the family greater than common.

After a number of months, I used to be doing higher. My now ex-girlfriend and I reconnected and slowly started to rebuild our friendship. 

My husband was at all times regular, completely happy to maneuver with me in whichever path I used to be going. If she and I have been courting and I used to be completely happy, he was on board. If I used to be unhappy, he would hug me till I felt higher. If I needed to reconnect along with her, he trusted my selections. 

With my husband’s assist, I felt empowered to be myself and to expertise life in all its fullness, together with the hovering heights of recent love and the plummeting depths of heartbreak. I at all times say that my husband is the perfect individual I do know, and after 12 years collectively, I nonetheless imagine it. 

My ex-girlfriend is now considered one of my finest buddies, and her husband is somebody I care about and belief very deeply as effectively. Our relationship ended, however the love we constructed did not.