'Vanderpump Guidelines' is 'emotionallly edging' its viewers — and I'm on the brink

• Bravo aired half certainly one of its three-part “Vanderpump Guidelines” reunion Wednesday evening.
• There have been loads of sequined robes, James Kennedy tantrums, and pictures of Raquel rolling her eyes.
• However followers anticipating a satisfying accountability session have been sorely dissatisfied. 

For the final two months, there’s been a fats hamster nesting in my mind, and that hamster is obsessive about “Vanderpump Guidelines.” 

All day he slowly runs the hamster wheel, nibbles on cheese, and ruminates on the Ariana Madix, Tom Sandoval, Raquel Leviss dishonest scandal. He’s busy.

“Scandoval” has been heating up since early March when Madix came upon that her boyfriend of 9 years had been dishonest on her for a number of months along with her greatest good friend. 

Since then, followers of the present have been tuning in to catch clues of the affair, and to observe the inevitable second when the complete factor lastly exploded out into the ether, which was captured throughout a retooled season finale final week. In a calming scene between Madix and Sandoval, he asks her if she “desires something” (presumably, from the kitchen the place he is standing). She replies: “So that you can die.”

Frustratingly, although not surprisingly, within the dialog that follows, it is Sandoval that appears lit with rage, not Madix. There is no such thing as a “right” approach to answer a associate’s betrayal, however Madix for certain dealt with herself with grace, composure, and wit. 

Within the weeks main as much as the confrontation, I had hoped that Sandoval would supply Madix a mea culpa, however he appears constitutionally incapable of accountability. In fact, actuality TV is never, if ever, about that, nevertheless it nonetheless stings to see that for all of the exterior dialogues occurring across the betrayal, the one being filmed allowed him to worm (with a mustache) out of actually saying sorry. 

On Wednesday evening’s reunion, the anticipation of accountability as soon as once more fell flat. Regardless of being surrounded by a roomful of castmembers who have been greater than prepared to throw jabs, the entire thing felt muted, slippery, and mushy. Sure, there have been theatrics (James Kennedy will at all times ship), however there was in the end little in the best way of catharsis. Too a lot of host Andy Cohen’s questions have been regrettably rooted in whether or not the connection had been in a superb place previous to the dishonest, giving Sandoval an easy set up to say that his affair with Leviss had been the inevitable and justified subsequent step. (Fortunately, Madix referred to as each Cohen and Sandoval out for his or her pandering to that narrative).

Cohen’s job as host is to carry Sandoval’s toes to the hearth, however he is doing absolutely the least, and it exhibits. 

Tom Sandoval remains to be shoveling the identical shit. There may be at all times an implied “however” anytime he begins providing a midway apology and it is clear it is extra vital for him to stay to a constant narrative than a truthful one. Followers won’t ever get the precise timeline of occasions that we have been so diligently making an attempt to finish.  

He nonetheless will not come clear, though he is hit absolute all-time low and alienated nearly the complete 18 to 55 demographic at this level. It is so emotionally unsatisfying to not get that closure, to not see this man actually categorical real regret, or perceive the non-logic of “each time I wished to inform her, I bought this vibe that she did simply not need to fucking know.”

We nonetheless have two extra episodes of the reunion to go, so something is feasible, however I feel we should always all put together for the disappointing worst. 

And whereas that sucks for followers who’ve turn into unhealthily obsessive about this story (raises hand), it sucks for Ariana far more.