I used to be criticized for marrying my faculty sweetheart at 19

  • My then-boyfriend proposed once I was 18 and he was 21. 
  • He requested my dad and mom first, and whereas that they had questions, they gave their blessing. 
  • We have been collectively for 25 years and have three children collectively. 

I used to be a sophomore in faculty, and my then-boyfriend proposed to me in entrance of my finest buddies in a room within the scholar middle. That they had a cake prepared, and we celebrated collectively. There was no official photographer. No excellent outfit. Only a proposal from a 21-year-old to an 18-year-old to spend their lives collectively.

I had barely selected my main earlier than I made a decision who to marry.

If it sounds loopy, perhaps it was. We had been simply children. Our buddies did not fairly see the frenzy, however they thought it was cute. It was the adults in our life that had been extra hesitant. We knew it was an enormous determination, a life-altering one, and having my dad and mom on board was vital to us. Earlier than he formally requested me, we sat down with them. He requested for his or her blessing. That they had questions.

It was by no means about whether or not we knew we had been proper for each other. It was all about logistics. Why now? The place would we stay? How would we pay for issues as full-time faculty college students? And the most important query: How would we end faculty?

They had been all legitimate, and we answered thoughtfully. We had a plan. And a backup. My dad and mom listened, they usually gave their blessing.

Not everybody was as supportive

It wasn’t our buddies that struggled. It was our dad and mom’ buddies, our grandparents, aunts and uncles, grown-ups energetic expertise and knowledge who had been involved. Their questions had been completely different. Why get married? Why do not we simply stay collectively? Why now? 

And the most important query requested in whispered tones once they thought we did not hear: Is she pregnant? Not that it ought to matter, however I wasn’t.

Couple cutting cake

The couple after their engagement.

Courtesy of the creator



We had been simply two children who knew we needed to develop collectively as an alternative of aside — and we did not see the purpose in ready.

We tied the knot a month shy of my nineteenth birthday.

After a two-month engagement, we had a proper wedding ceremony with 250 household and buddies there to rejoice. I give all of these questioning adults credit score as a result of they confirmed up. They put all their worries and issues apart to help two children in love, even once they did not suppose it was the suitable thought. Possibly that is what love actually appears to be like like, asking questions and loving anyway.

He is nonetheless the one

We rejoice our twenty fifth anniversary this month. Twenty-five years of determining who we’re as people and as a pair. Twenty-five years of trials and celebrations, of rising and altering. And we did all of it collectively.

Now we’ve got three children. Our oldest is eighteen, and I have a look at her and marvel how I’d really feel if she needed to get married. If I am being sincere, I would have questions. However I hope I would present up and love her properly.

When folks learn the way younger we had been, they cannot consider it. Their eyes maintain all of the questions that individuals requested us. And my response is at all times the identical: Getting married younger is not proper for everybody, but it surely was proper for us.


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